JEAN PHILIP DE TENDER

Life is busy and full, with everyone and everything pulling at us from all directions. The same happens inside our own heads. One part of you wants to see many people and seek out interaction, while another part wants to be left alone. You probably feel this push and pull within yourself — a part of you seeking connection while another part longs for solitude.

— Joost Joossen

I meet a lot of people, almost on a daily basis. My organization organises many events, and I attend many others. I like these contacts. I’ve built a huge network and touch base with most of them regularly. Yet, I need time on my own — a lot of time — to rebalance, to recharge my batteries, and to make sense of it all. One of my mantras is (to create chaos in the order and) to put order in the chaos.

Sometimes I wondered if I was a misfit, being an extrovert professionally and an introvert in private. But I learned that I’m not alone. In fact, many people experience the same, and the extrovert–introvert axis is even considered outdated. Hence the many new terms such as omnivert, ambivert, socially flexible, and so on.

I spend a lot of time in silence, secluded from the outside world. I read, write, listen to music, contemplate, practice yoga or meditation, and I look at the stars. It’s a very rewarding time, and while I’m on my own, a lot of people and their opinions (re)visit me.

“In my life, writing has been an important exercise to clarify what I believe, what I see, what I care about, what my deepest values are.”

— Barack Obama

To better understand this need, I started reading about it — what else could you expect! The School of Life has many excellent books on this and related topics and now also offers a membership. But I took great pleasure in reading The Little Book of Solitude by Joost Joossen, illustrated by Bart Kiggen. He shares insights, practices, and the lives of people like Marina Abramović, Maria Popova, Edward Hopper, Susan Sontag, David Lynch, Nelson Mandela, and many more. He also lists books, movies, pilgrimages, and other ways to dive deeper into the topic.

In a world where there is a lot of noise — in real life and on social media — solitude is the best way to make sense of it all. 

EBU’s Media Intelligence Service informed me about a new growing trend: “insularity,” meaning ignorance of or lack of interest in cultures, ideas, or people outside one’s own experience. Solitude is exactly the opposite; time on your own makes you more open to experiences beyond yourself.

The Little Book of Solitude, Joost Joossen, with illustrations by Bart Kiggen, Luster Publishing, Antwerp, 2025.