JEAN PHILIP DE TENDER

It may seem strange to call a memoir Joie de Vivre when its author has endured sexual abuse at the hands of her husband and dozens of other men. Yet for Gisèle Pelicot, the title is not misplaced. Her story reminds us that we rarely know the full truth of another person’s life, even when we think we do. We often judge too quickly, based on fragments of what we see. Pelicot’s own life contained a hidden chapter that even she was unaware of: for more than a decade, her husband Dominique secretly drugged her and made her body available to others. She suffered from fatigue and health problems, never suspecting the devastating cause. Her world collapsed when police, investigating Dominique for voyeurism, uncovered videos of her being abused.

From the opening pages, beautifully narrated by Judith Perrignon, it is clear that this memoir is not about revenge. It is not the story of a woman whose life was entirely destroyed, nor simply the tale of a failed marriage. Instead, it is about dignity, resilience, and the refusal to be defined solely by trauma. Initially, Pelicot requested that her trial be held behind closed doors (huis clos), but ultimately she chose openness. She wanted to reclaim her dignity, to show that life continued after horror. This decision meant confronting the videos her husband had taken, but it also meant asserting her strength in public.

The book has become a bestseller in multiple countries, ranking among the global Top 10. While its wide readership is encouraging, it carries a risk: some may mistakenly conclude that all survivors of sexual abuse can endure and rebuild in the same way. That is not true. Pelicot’s constructive approach to life — her joie de vivre — is inspiring, but it should not obscure the urgent need for greater support for survivors, whether women or men, who face the aftermath of sexual violence.

Born Gisèle Guillou, she still carries the name of the man she married. This choice acknowledges that her life was more than this disastrous chapter. It honors the family she once had, and shows her children and relatives that even within a broken marriage, there were moments of beauty.

This memoir will stay with me for a long time. It is a testament to survival, to the complexity of human lives, and to the courage of reclaiming joy even in the shadow of unimaginable betrayal.

Joie de Vivre, Gisèle Pelicot, Flammarion, Paris, 2026.