I read a lot of books but the ones that really stick are the ones where I copy and paste text in my journal. I somehow consider this blog to be my public journal and apart from a way to communicate with you it is also a means of taking notes for myself (and sharing them with you).

“The only Story” by Julian Barnes is one of the few books I rated five stars at Goodreads. Because some of the pages I read over and over again. In some paragraphs I assess every word. For me the best books are the ones I go back to from time to time to reread the specific passages.

Would you rather love the more, and suffer the more; or love the less, and suffer the less ? That is, I think, finally, the only real question.

First love fixes a life for ever : this much I have discovered over the years. It may not outrank subsequent loves, but they will always be affected by its existence. It may serve as model, or as counterexample. It may overshadow subsequent loves; on the other hand it can make them easier, better. Though sometimes, first love cauterizes the heart, and all any searcher will find thereafter is scar tissue.

Good sex is better than bad sex. Bad sex is better than no sex, except when no sex is better than bad sex. Self-sex is better than no sex, except when no sex is better than self-sex. Sad sex is always far worse than good sex, bad sex, self-sex and no sex. Sad sex is the saddest sex of all.

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

The cure for sex is marriage; the cure for love is marriage; the cure for infidelity is divorce; the cure for unhappiness is work; the cure for extreme unhappiness is work; the cure for extreme unhappiness is drink; the cure for death is a frail belief in the afterlife.

A note from myself :

Looking back at what I have read over the last few months a lot was about love and marriage : “South and West : from a notebook” by Joan Didion, “The Sparsholt Affair” by Alan Hollinghurst, “Less” by Andrew Sean Greer, “The Cost of Living” by Deborah Levy, … And one thing became clear : love and marriage are not always the same. No, love and marriage don’t always go together like a horse and carriage.

Julian Barnes, “The Only Story”, Jonathan Cape London, 2018

Categorieën:books, waow

Tagged: julian barnes, love, love and marriage, notes on love, quotes, the only story

happiness is a state of mind

alles is een verhaal

Posted on april 8, 2018

I was in Amsterdam for the News Xchange. I just came from the opening reception at the Rijksmuseum and had to rush to restaurant De Kas to discuss a project on investigative journalism. It was softly raining and I jumped in a taxi, my head full of of the great paintings and what I would have to say at dinner. The taxi stopped at the red traffic lights and this is what I saw. I quickly eternalized it in this picture and off we went.

It is true that people no longer watch the real world, but stare at it through their smartphones. But sometimes these snapshots give you a change to better understand the world. They really frame it.

“Un beau soleil interieur” is Claire Denis’ newest film, starring Juliette Binoche. Happiness shines from the billboard and sends its warmth to this homeless person on the bench. Her smile is fiction, his is real.

Categorieën:me, myself and I, travel

tribe of mentors

alles is een verhaal

Posted on maart 29, 2018

Timothy – Tim – Ferriss, best known for his book “The 4-hour Workweek”, has a new one out. In “Tribe of Mentors. Short Life Advice from the Best in the World” inspiring people answer a simple eleven questions. As I wrote to some people in my team “one can never have too many mentors”. This work learned me so much. A big portion of wisdom, a longlist of books I have to read and some topics I have to further explore online.

Published 2017 by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.

I absolutely recommend you to read the book. And as a bonus you get here my answers to exactly the same questions.

What is the book (or books) you’ve given most as a gift, and why ? Or what are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life ?

I have been together with my husband Filip for over 20 years. When we just met (weekend) diners would look like apero, starter, main, dessert and some liquor to finish off. Desserts would be like a dame blanche and mains would often be meat. When I got promoted manager of a big television channel business lunches and dinners would add on top of that. I ended up taking an additional 10 kilograms, Filip close to 15. We radically shifted our food habits some years later and luckily lost the extras. When I first read “Food rules” by Michael Pollan, it looked like the food bible we had been practicing ever since. Pollan has written plenty of scientific research based books on healthy food, but this pocket book with the wisdom of our grandmothers is the best advice ever I got on having a good diet. His idea is so simple “Eat food, mostly plants, not too much” and guides me still today. I recently discovered the updated version with illustrations by Maira Kalman. I hope the book won’t get out of publishing because I need plenty more to hand out.

As a manager I was always interested in management books. Initially you read many of them but at a certain time stop doing that because the messages become repetitive. However “Reinventing organizations” by Frederic Laloux was an eye opener after 20 years of reading professionally. It is another book that is based on plenty of research but the illustrated version is what I recommend. Laloux explains how organizational setup moved from a military hierarchy to empowered teams. Next steps will be organizations where staff is steering fully independent. An interesting idea that will have to be tested in reality.

What purchase of 100 $ or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months (or in recent) memory ? My fans love specifics like brand and model, where you found it, etc.

My home and office are in Geneva, but work sends me on the road almost every week. Last year I accumulated some 140 flights. I am not proud of my ecological footprint and I try to compensate as much as possible. So traveling a lot, spending plenty of time in airports and discovering new beds all the time, means that I had to create a home away from home, wherever I am. When I get up in the morning I read the same newspapers on my iPad (De Morgen and De Tijd, two Flemish ones and The New York Times) and listen to my favorite Flemish news station Radio 1. Music creates my audio comfort zone. I constantly download playlists and new albums or newly discovered artists on Apple Music and Spotify. This is where my AirPods protect me from the hectic world and give me quality time. Okay, they are slightly more expensive than 100 $.

And then there is Headspace. Although I consider myself to be very mindful by nature, I tried meditation on several occasions. Without success. Untill I discovered the app Headspace. It was the easiest but also the most pleasant introduction to meditation. The voice in my AirPods I discovered later is Andy Puddicombe. He is such a nice travel companion. It’s the best 50 $ spent. I should ask my Swiss health insurance company to pay back the investment and give me a credit on the overall subscription, because I feel much better ever since I follow this monk’s advice.

How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success ? Do you have a “favorite failure” of yours ?

I worked for almost 25 years at VRT, the Flemish public broadcaster in Belgium. I started of as a reporter and ended as director television. I was next in line to be promoted to a position in the management board. But it didn’t happen. The then Director General wanted to team me up with a marketeer and have me to ensure the continuity. “You will make a great team”, she said. He will bring new insights and you will ensure that the factory keeps running. It didn’t work. And I don’t blame her. Moving on was one of the best decisions in my life.

If you could have one gigantic billboard anywhere with anything on it – metaphorically speaking, getting a message out to millions or billions – what would it say and why ? It could be a few words or a paragraph. (If helpful, it can be someone else’s quote : Are there any quotes you think of often or live your life by ?)

I have two life mottos.

The first one is “Create order in the chaos and chaos in the order”. It hangs as a billboard in my office as a daily reminder. As a director you are expected to manage things. To steer, guide and organize. I’m not telling anything new here. But the opposite is as true : where things are too organized or have become too institutional you have to shake things up. Either you suffer from disruption or you organize it yourself.

The second one doesn’t need any explanation : “Optimism is a moral duty”.

What is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you’ve ever made ? (Could be an investment of money, time, energy, ect.)

Your professional and private life have to be in balance. Last year I celebrated 20 years with my partner Filip. Although I work very hard, spend 7 days a week solving problems and exploring opportunities, and whilst traveling a lot, he is the person I come home to. We have invested a lot of time, energy, money and passion in our house and docking there together with him (and our two cats Jeltsie and Wolfie) is the midpoint of my life. He has been supportive in whatever I did. He celebrated my successes and gave me comfort when I was down. But the most important thing is that I listen to him. What he says is not always in line with what I think, but he opens my thinking and his advice has no other intention then pure honesty with me.

I hope that everyone can rely on such a person. It can be your partner, but also a friend or a member of your family.

What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love ?

I need to get the smell of things. Of all our senses and organs, smelling with your noise is most underestimated. Would the Epoisses cheese taste as good without the smell ?

In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has improved your life ?

I am very much into healthy food, but doing sports has never been a priority. When I was at school I was always the second last (or last) to be picked for the football team. Thinking back of it, it is a hard practice. The teacher appointing two leaders and have them pick the team. The ones that were chosen last, would publicly be offended as the weak parts of the team.

Having turned 50 and realizing that not only the food that gets into my body but my actual body is as important I hired myself a personal trainer. Every Saturday at 8 AM we meet for an hour. We do some cross training and I have to report back on my last week. What I ate and if I did any training whilst traveling. I can cheat to myself, but I can not cheat on him.

What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the “real world” ? What advice should they ignore ?

One doesn’t plan his career, it just happens. The most important thing is to follow your passion. Do something you like and get good at it. The rest will follow. I never planned my career. I studied interpreting but on a blue Monday landed a job with a television channel. I was a journalist at a talkshow for many years when suddenly the star of the show asked me to become the editor in chief. And then I moved on and became an advisor to management and afterwards a manager myself. First in charge of a few programs, then a television channel and ultimately all of the channels. And when I turned 50 I quit my job and started a new international career. And I am happy.

Every five years I mind map the situation as it is and explore the future. What are my strengths and my weaknesses ? How do I judge the balance between my private and professional life ? Where do I want to grow ? And how will I make myself and others happy ? Also, I seek advice from others during an out of the box lunch or dinner. Ask them openly how they perceive me, what advice they have for me and how I can become better. It’s amazing how open people are to give this advice and how many insights I take from them.

It now happens that people come to me for this sort of advice. And I like doing this. They give me as much as I give them. I listen a lot, don’t judge what they do, ask a lot of questions and tell them to draw a mind map. Mostly I share my latest mind map with them.

Don’t chase a career. Be good at what you do. Be passionate about what you do and listen to a handful of people you trust.

What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession or area of expertise ?

Plan your career.

In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to (distractions, invitations, etc.) ? What new realizations and or / approaches helped ? Any other tips ?

I am not good at saying no. Whatever I do, there is still the journalist in me and journalists then to be curious and accept whatever come along there way.

So I try to be less of a journalist and more of a hedonist.

When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused or have lost your focus temporarily, what do you do ? (If helpful : What questions do you ask yourself ?)

With my current job, I am always on the move. I rarely sleep more than three nights in a row in the same bed. There is my flat in Geneva where I reside, I have a home in Brussels which I call home and I sleep in hotels. There is only one place that I call home and that is where my partner Filip is. I sleep best when he is around.

The two of us, but I on my own as well try to get out for a walk as much as possible. I try to do 10 000 steps a day. During weekends this is walking in town (shopping, wining and dining). During weekdays it is stepping in airports avoiding elevators

And I need to read. I read newspapers and magazines and aim to read about 30+ books a year. In good years, it can be up to 50. Some management books, a lot of fiction and books on art. Catalogues from the exhibitions we visited. The world is very rich, but the world in books is as enriching. Books frame the world, propose you an angle and make you think.

Categorieën:books, inspiration, me, myself and I

Tagged: coach, mentor, tim ferriss, tribe of mentors

slow down media

alles is een verhaal

Posted on maart 25, 2018

I very much agree with what Spencer Bailey wrote in Directions (Design Hotels magazine) :

People tend to associate transformation with things that are faster, bigger, taller. But I actually think that transformation can be something that happens when you slow down. If you look back to the slow food movement, it’s something that is now used for marketing and buzz-speak unfortunately, but the intent is really important, and it’s about understanding where your food comes from, how your food is made, enjoying the food that you consume.

I think you can apply this idea to media, because in media right now everything’s all about digital, video, getting someone to click. But I think we need media that allows people to slow down, to turn inward, and to think about things on a deeper level. They are taking the time to consume that thing, because that thing came from a place of great integrity, of intent. The reporting was done. The story was fact checked. Everything was done to a level of quality that is expected by a person who cares about what they consume. It is almost the equivalent of eating at a farm-to-table restaurant, but instead of eating with your mouth, you’re eating with your eyes. And in that sense, I think understanding the “who”, not the “how many”, is going to be very important. I think creating a trusted environment, sort of a safe space, in the world of so much noise, that’s how you can find a really dedicated audience.

Categorieën:media, media & democracy, Uncategorized

Tagged: slow down media, spencer bailey

danielle van zadelhoff

alles is een verhaal

Posted on december 29, 2017

I love art. Growing older I realize that life is just not complete without it. I don’t consider myself an expert – my partner as an art historian is – but I have learned to understand the essence of it. We have done all “the classics” in the more than 20 years we have travelled together, but now we started concentrating on the (emerging) artists of the 21st century, buying (more) books and visiting musea and galleries who stretch our knowledge. And also, putting some savings aside, to buy the occasional work.

Filip had picked up this book at our favorite bookshop Passa Porta. It is delivered with two white gloves, as to not leave any dirty finger prints on the mainly, black pages.

Copyright. Blue Turban, 2016, cover of the book, published 2017 by Stockmans.

This work really stunned me. It is 21st century, for sure, but rooted in the Early Netherlandish portraits. Woaw !

copyright Danielle van Zadelhoff, Madonna with Child, 2015.

Categorieën:art, Uncategorized

Tagged: art, danielle van zadelhoff, photography

mcluhan revisted

alles is een verhaal

Posted on december 25, 2017

I have read “Understanding Media : the extensions of man”, Marshall McLuhan’s masterpiece a long time ago.

The medium, or process, of our time – electric technology – is reshaping and restructuring patterns of social interdependence and every aspect of our personal life. It is forcing us to reconsider and re-evaluate practically every thought, every action, and every institution formerly taken for granted. Everything is changing – you, your family, your neighborhood, your education, your job, your government, your relation to “the others”. And they’re changing dramatically.

“Understanding Media”, Marshall McLuhan, originally published 1964. Reedited 2003, Gingko Press, critical edition by W. Terrence Gordon.

But only recently, at Tate Modern’s bookshop, I came across “The Medium is the Massage”, by both Marshall McLuhan and Quentin Fiore, co-ordinated by Jerome Angel. It is the sort of book that is very popular today and which you find at the counter near the cash desk of your favorite bookstore. But this blend of text, image and photography was quite unique for the ’60.

I gave it a five star on Goodreads and made it one of my preferred books as it is very, very topical today. Just change ‘electric’ by ‘digital’ and your are in the middle of today’s media crisis.

Republished by Penguin Modern Classics, 2017.

your neighborhood

Electric circuitry has overthrown the regime of “time” and “space” and pours upon us instantly and continuously the concerns of all other men. It has reconstituted dialogue on a global scale. Its message is Total Change, ending psychic, social, economic, and political parochialism. The old civic, state and national groupings have become unworkable. Nothing can be further from the spirit of the new technology than “a place for everything and everything in its place”. You can’t GO home again.

Categorieën:books, media, media & democracy

Tagged: 2017, jerome angel, marshall mcluhan, quentin fiore, the medium is the massage, understanding media

death cleaning

alles is een verhaal

Posted on december 17, 2017

When I picked up this book at my favorite bookstore, I thought this was written by an undertaker, describing how she prepares corpses before they are coffined. However “The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning” by Margareta Magnusson is not at all about dead people. It is about people cleaning their houses at an elder age. Or – tout court – by anybody who wants to sort out her stuff.

“The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning”, Margareta Magnusson, Canongate, 2017

Margareta Magnusson being “between eighty and a hundred” is a graphic artist from Sweden who lived all over the world. In this memoir she is cleaning her apartment, sorting out what stuff she still wants to keep, what she wants to give away and what she wants to sell. Plenty of memories accompany this action. And she is experienced : she did it before when she moved from a house to a flat after her husband died. And occasionally she helped others sorting it out. “Death cleaning”, they call it in Sweden (*).

Margareta Magnusson

The places where I reside (Geneva, Brussels and many hotels) have plenty of room to store whatever I would want to keep. But over the last few years without realizing it I seem to have been death cleaning myself, keeping only what is really dear to me.

When I met my partner, now twenty years ago, we lived separately. He in Ghent and I in Brussels. When after a year he moved in with me and later when we bought a house together now fifteen years ago, we merged our belongings. I had bought my furniture at Morres Wonen in Hulst. Filip had invested in a antiques. Until recently our home was this mix of the two. But today after some recent renovations, we now live in a house with furniture that ultimately we bought together, selling or giving away the original furniture.

For sure, there are also the personal belongings like books, papers, notes, clips, photos, … put the digital disruption made me move most of it to the cloud. I did away with hundred of mostly management books, and now keep only what is fiction and art.

I guess that from now on death cleaning is a permanent business.

(*) Döstädning, or the art of death cleaning, is a Swedish phenomenon by which the elderly and their families set their affairs in order. Whether it’s sorting the family heirlooms from the junk, downsizing to a smaller place, or setting up a system to help you stop misplacing your keys, death cleaning gives us the chance to make the later years of our lives as comfortable and stress-free as possible. Whatever you age, Swedish death cleaning can be used to help you declutter your life, and take stock of what’s important.

Categorieën:books, me, myself and I

Tagged: death cleaning, margareta magnusson, the gentle art of swedish death cleaning

Jean Philip De Tender

everything is a story

notes on love (by Julian Barnes)

alles is een verhaal

Posted on mei 1, 2018

happiness is a state of mind

alles is een verhaal

Posted on april 8, 2018

tribe of mentors

alles is een verhaal

Posted on maart 29, 2018

slow down media

alles is een verhaal

Posted on maart 25, 2018

danielle van zadelhoff

alles is een verhaal

Posted on december 29, 2017

mcluhan revisted

alles is een verhaal

Posted on december 25, 2017

death cleaning

alles is een verhaal

Posted on december 17, 2017